How precious is thy lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge under the shadow of thy wings. Psalm 36:6
It's hard to function when you are in pain. (Preaching to the choir, I know ...) While I truly enjoy writing my devotional blog, some days there is just too much pain to think, much less type. Perhaps you have noticed the odd lot days of no posts coming through. Pain in the usual reason for that.
It's hard to encourage others, when I don't really know how to encourage myself. The only way I have figured out how to deal with the pain is to tell myself that at some point it won't be as intense - and to relax and be careful what I think about.
No, I didn't forget about God. But I know that He knows I am in pain without my telling him. As a friend of mine once said she "offers up" her pain as a sacrifice. Pain is a part of this life. I wish I truly understood why - but I don't. What I do know is that it drives me ever closer to God.
I know pain sometimes pushes people away from God. They learn to mistrust Him. "If He is a loving God, why does He let this happen to me?" I have no real answer for that.
But, I am learning that no one is immune from pain. Like rain, it falls on the just and the unjust alike.
What I am also learning is that these are the times I need shelter - comfort - refuge. I need to hide in God. He is the only one who truly understands my pain. He is the only one that can bring comfort.
So, as I relax as best I can - listening to calming music and breathing as slowly and deeply as I am able to. Then I imagine myself safe and warm - in the shelter of His wings. Just thinking about it helps me relax.
Perhaps, on these days, I am closer to Him than I have been at any other time of my life.
The challenge? To seek Him out - to seek that shelter. It's an action I must take in my mind, knowing He is the only true shelter in my life.
Father God, As difficult as it is, I thank you for days like today. Days when the pains flair, when I so look for relief. Thank you that you are teaching me that these are the days I need You the most and that your comfort is only a thought away. Amen and amen. So be it, Lord.