Revisiting: Darkness Around You?

As I struggle to adapt to the many changes in the lives of my family members, it can feel I am walking into a darker world.  Yesterday's revisit and today's remind me that I may not be understanding my role in the problems we face.  Perhaps, you need this reminder as well.

White Candle

Lord?

     Yes, child?

I was wondering if you have some time to talk?

     Always.  <smiles>

Well, You know what I wrote yesterday - and I've been thinking.  Thinking a lot.  About this "light of the world" thing. I've been walking this road a while now and <pauses> ...

     Yes?

Well, I've almost gotten used to it.  I mean - my being faced with so many things - but it's changing somehow.

     <Waits patiently>

You see, I can kind of understand what I am dealing with.  I mean, I see the lessons and all - but now, it seems to be getting harder.

     How is that, child?

I guess ... I guess it's because of my family.  Steve's cancer.  Littlest angel and her dealing with her mommy dying. Now my son with the heart issues.  It's even harder as I see them suffer.  This just never seems to end.  I ... I get discouraged.

     And what do you ask of me, little one?

Well, I want to ask that life be easier for them.  And ... it's kind of selfish.  I hate to see them hurting.  But ...

     Yes?

But, I know this is when I have done the most growing.  When I hurt.  When I know I need You more than anything.

      You do know that I have a plan for each of them.

I know ... but - but it's just so hard.  Some days I don't see any light ahead of me. I know I should.  I don't understand.  All I see is darkness.  I get .... tired.

     You don't see any light ahead of you?

<wearily>  No.  It all feels like darkness.

     You realize that means those around you must be walking in darkness as well.

I .... I guess so.

     And?

<pauses again>  I'm not sure.

     Child - perhaps you cannot see the light because I have called You to be that light.  Perhaps your role might be to hold the torch up so that others can see - and follow.  Think of the words you wrote.  You are the light of the world - because you reflect my image. 

Me?  Oh ... no ... that's not possible.  I mean ... I'm just ... me.  They are lovely words .. but ... I'm not sure I have so little left inside.

     Have you not noticed, child?  Your road has been lit by those who have gone before you.  If there is darkness now, perhaps it is your turn to carry the light for others.

But I'm not ready!  I mean ... I'm still ...

     Little one, no one is ever really ready for what is ahead of them.  You simply take the next step - trusting that you will see the step after that.  Trust in me.  Hold up the light I have given to you.  Hold it up for others as well as for yourself. Treasure it.  Trust in it, even when it all seems like darkness.  You are not now, and never have been alone.  

     You - and each person reading this can choose to be a light for me.  A light in the darkness.  Choose wisely - not only for yourself - but for those whose lives you touch.

Father God, It can be far beyond our understanding to see how you can still use our lives when we are wracked with illness and plagued by challenges.  Help us to remember that, no matter what our circumstances) we are the bearers of Your amazing light.  Let it shine through us each day ... each moment ... as we trust in You.  Amen and amen.

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