Revisiting: Grumble, Grumble, Grumble

alone


See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

When I am having what I call "heart issues," it is prudent for me to take it easy and not get over stressed either emotionally or physically.  (Far easier said than done!)  

I find, on days like this, that I spend a lot of time thinking - a lot of time in self-examination.  Quiet days seem to force me to spend more time than I usually would pondering on God's words.

One of my daily prayers is that each thing that happens in that day will bring me closer to God.  I'm beginning to see it work- but it's not working quite the way I thought it would.

God is using these times to address different areas in my life.  

He is using Scripture.  

I am attempting to read through the Bible - or listen through it.  

I got to the part about the Israelites wandering around in the desert - and complaining to Moses about their current lot.  They felt they were a lot better off back where they had come from in Egypt.  

They were quite willing to give up their future life of blessings with God to return to the old and familiar (something they had grumbled about at the time!).

I used to wonder how they could have been so shortsighted!  

I think I am understanding.

I know God has promised to renew me.  I know my future is with Him.  Yet, as my health declines, it is so easy to look back longingly at the days when my health was good and my life was so much simpler.  And I grumble.

Who wouldn't, right?

But I have to reluctantly admit that, in those days, I was far away from God.  I was out there, doing what I wanted, when I wanted.  I wasn't giving God a thought.

Now, as I am learning that God is all I truly have - and that my future is indeed with Him, I see the Israelites in a new way.  And I need to heed the lesson they teach.

Yes - it is rough now.  Yes - I'd rather things be different.  But, not at the expense of my growing relationship with God.  Every day brings me closer to Him.  My life is becoming permeated with Him.

And He is teaching me.  I may not always like the lessons I am learning.  Yet, as they come to light, I know they are the right ones for now.

I am in that desert place - that transition place - where God is bringing me to something new.  And I can't fully face that new place if I am looking longingly back to a past that wasn't really as great as it seemed, because, for me - it was a place where I didn't need my God.

And that is a place where I do not wish to be.

Father God, Thank you that, even though our present may be challenging and we may not see reasons or purposes, that you are, each day, drawing us nearer and nearer to the only true love of our lives - You.  Amen and amen.

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