Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139
Some days are what I call "empty days." Perhaps you have had days like this. The outside world seems bleak and chilled. Inside I don't feel much different. I'm not sure why I feel this way.
Some days, God just feels far away.
I've been here often enough to know it's not true. It's just a feeling - not a truth. But it feels unsettling. Somehow, it seems my mind is still asking, "God ... are You there?"
I am met with silence.
I listen quietly and still hear nothing.
I read my Bible and nothing seems to speak to me. They are just ... words.
My prayers seem to echo on in an emptiness.
"God .. are You there?"
And more silence.
I tell myself that this is temporary. It has happened before.
I've heard that the silent times happen to every one who follows God, at one point or another; that these are the times when our faith is grown, that much like seeds nestled underground, the darkness is as vital for their growth as is the sunlight that will come. I imagine that poor little seed struggles so as it pushes the dark, damp earth out of the way and wends it's way upward.
May we, in the empty days, continue to seek you much as the seedling seeks the life-giving sun.
Father God, As difficult as it is, I praise You for days like today - the faith growing days. I pray for each reader who may be asking, "God, are You there?" that they may know inside their soul that the answer - whether felt or not - is always "Yes." Amen and amen.
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