Any Other Way?

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While responding to a blog post comment, I had a startling (for me) revelation.


My friend, who had commented on my post about feeling safe, made a comment saying she prayed I was in God's safe place now. 


Truth be told, some days I do feel safe even as my family situation continues to change and care is harder to come by. As I replied to her comment, I inwardly scrutinized my current walk with Christ - and, as I noted in my response - God is certainly using this time to "grow" me.


I feel God, through His Holy Spirit, is revealing so much about Himself ... and about me. 


I feel, at times, rather like a slab of granite from which its maker slowly chips away the unnecessary parts. Not always chips, either. Sometimes huge gouges take place, leaving me crying out, "Hey! Don't take that part! I need that part!"


But, away it flies anyway. 


And, He tenderly shows me how to live without it. 


It's a daily thing now ...


Chip.


Chip.


Chip.


That attitude? 


It needs to go.


That behavior?


It's not serving you well, deni. 


Those negative emotions?


Those don't bring you closer to Me, either. You know that.


So, many days, I wince and sting and smart from the process.


But other days? Days when I feel His call so clearly, when I focus in on the process by which he draws me near? 


I realize that this path I am walking is the only path by which I can be brought near to Him, desire Him, learn to trust Him, and yes ... even feel safe.


There is an old saying from 12-step programs: It takes what it takes. 


There is another saying that comes to mind right now. That we are always looking for the easier, softer way. And, I have been. And I do. I still pray for healing. Still have days where I don't understand why this all is taking place inside of me and around me. 


But, if this is the path I must take to truly know Him, to be fully His -- if any other path could not get me to this place with Him?


I'm not sure I'd have it any other way. 


Father God, thank you for the hard days - for the challenging days, when those are the days that draw me nearer to You, when I choose to seek out Your comfort, when I feel closest to my Lord and my King. Thank you that you know me so well; and that you know exactly what I need, perhaps not what I want, but always what I need. Amen and amen. 

 © deni weber 2010-2015